Praying for Chile

I've only found out 2 hours ago about Chile.

The many tragedies happening around the world right now give me a pressing sense of dread.

It's sad because Chile is a beautiful place, with amazing people, I hope every single person I met there last year is fine.

Praying that this world will see more peaceful times soon.



PS: the earthquake in Japan was in Okinawa, there were, as far as I know, a few injured people, but nothing dramatic happened. We never even felt it, in Kyoto or in Tokyo, but that's quite far, so there's really nothing to worry.

Survive

But what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.

Way to celebrate graduation...

I was really intending to write about all kinds of funny things that happened to me, but that's really no longer the case right now.

My uncle decided that he'd wait until after graduation to give me important news. Apparently this important news was that his company is deep shit because of loans. Mortgage loans. On his house.

First of all, I had no clue that the financial crisis even REALLY affected Japan. I've always just been saying it's all staged and what not...well I still do believe that, but I never expected it to affect a company such as my uncle's. Especially that he does know how to run it. I guess I've been blind to the actually situation since I'm unemployed for months and the only work I've been doing it's in a field that has nothing to do with financial problems.

My uncle didn't want to tell me before the exams and with good reason, because my mind wouldn't have been on studying that's for sure. The problem is the company is just recovering and already the deadline for down payment on the loan is first of March... taking money from the company is putting it back close to bankruptcy and being unable to pay employees, not taking money means his house could be put up for auction.

Obviously I'm dazed with all this information and I had to postpone going to Tokyo today like I had actually planned.

Tatsu obviously offered to give my uncle the money but there's no way I would, or my uncle for that matter, accept something like this. So that leaves me with one option...which is to sell my car. And it's ridiculously hard to take this decision, this car is the first thing I ever bought for myself...it broke with me- quite literally - when I had that accident, and just like me it got fixed...I used it to get the heck out of Tokyo when I thought I would go insane if I stayed there just one more minute, then I used it to go back and forth between Tokyo and Kyoto...there's really a lot of things related to that car.

I really don't want to sell it. But I guess I have no choice, I'll buy another car when I start working again, it might be for the better too, since this car holds too many memories and too much energy, it really seen a lot w.

Anyways, I'm not familiar at all with the whole process involved into selling a second hand car so me and Kaji are both brainstorming over it. There's no getting any help from my uncle since he would disapprove if he knew and from Tatsu either since he'd keep insisting I don't need to.

Well hopefully I can do it within this next few days.

Peace

Massive Cavities Day.

So today is Valentine's Day.

I hate Valentine's Day.

I'm horrible with that.

It pisses me off when I get chocolate even though I love chocolate.

It pisses me off even more when the person I LOVE gets chocolate. A LOT OF CHOCOLATE.

I don't even care that he doesn't eat it or touch it, it still pisses me off.

So Valentine's Day is the day I'm the most pissed off ( can you tell?)

And to top it all off, I have no clue what to say for Valentine's Day - I don't want to express my feelings just because it's the 14th and everyone else does.

So that is why I will absolutely NOT say I love you today.

che.

今朝からちょっと気分が悪い

いやーよく寝なかったぞ

いやなゆめのだろう

わかない

じつはバレンタインに寝られない

大嫌いそんな日

マジどうして好きだと言わなくちゃある日は必要や？

僕にガセなんや

言わなくちゃ言葉は本文ない

感じなくちゃ感じも本文ない

チョコレートも食べ物だけじゃんなのだろう？

ガセって

バレンタインなんて嫌いじゃ

では決めちゃった今日絶対ILOVEYOU言わないつもり。

ちぇ。

Last exam and Tokyo

My last exam is on the 16th.

That's just a few days from now, though I'm done studying. It still feels surreal, I don't think I've ever noticed what a huge part of my life University has been.

Of course I'm still going for Master's Degree and even further, but this 4 years were the last part of what you'd call adolescence, I'm actually turning 23 this year, that's way past being able to blame everything you do on still being a kid.

So, I'm at the point where I'm literally taking my life in my hands - not that I wasn't under the illusion I've been doing this all along, w. But this time it's different, there's no going back. I guess I'll be missing classes most of all, I loved zoning out during them, good time to clear my head w.

I decided to move to Tokyo before the actual graduation ceremony, so it will probably be around the 18th. It's not that I can't wait anymore ( or maybe it is?) it's just that I'm already feeling restless here, like when you're away from home for a long time...even though practically Kyoto has been home for two years.

And I really dislike loud crazy Tokyo, it's almost funny. But seriously,I've been thinking, Kyoto is so like me and Tokyo is so Kage, as cliche as it sounds. So it makes sense I want to live in Tokyo though I hate it.

Because it's not that I really hate it, it's more that I'm afraid of that fast pace things happen at in Tokyo. But truth is, I've been dragged around at that fast pace all along, I figure, I ought to start walking on my own two and prove I can keep up.

So it's a challenge.

相変らず僕英語で考えを出しやすいものだ

あのことばを書きながらめを閉じてと未来だけ見えた

悪いおもいでない

余憤ない

苦しみもない

二人だけ

だから変わらずに変わっていくって

もう君のこと赦すなんや

君も僕のこと赦してくれ

そして

愛してくれ

愛してるから

マジべたやぞｗ

PS：TSUMIもお前のこと会いたがってる、きのう形態にお前の声を聞いたとすげ元気になった。してるそうよ

もしあのやつも帰りたがっている

1984

Something we've watched this weekend. I've found the book (Orwell's Ninteen Eighty-Four) online last night and I took to reading it in between study sessions.

It's funny how we tend to blindly fallow the path of our own destruction. Of course, there are always people that can actually see the bigger picture, and warn us, trying to point where the path we're blindly fallowing is taking us.

Orwell was one of this people, he saw it in Spain and he saw it in Rusia, and though he warned about it, it was by the very timeline of this book - Ninteen Eighty-Four that parts of Europe really were, regardless, in a state sadly similar to this. But back in the interbellum period they called it modernism and left it at that. I wonder, should some have taken it seriously, could the horrors of Eastern European Communism have been avoided?

There is a Museum dedicated to those very years in Budapest called House of Terror.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_of_Terror

Disturbingly similar to what this book describes

Marx must have been trashing in his coffin during those years.

The lesson to this as far as I see it, sometime we should open our eyes wider to our own world, where it is headed, and most of all to the people that have a better, bigger picture of it.

Peace

Being happy makes you DUMB

Seriously.

Well, I had the best possible weekend, it was just purely relaxing and nice, and to top it all off when I got back to Kyoto late Sunday night ( I kept postponing the time I had to leave until I literally had to sneak out the door -ごめんなベイビ笑）Kaji was playing Silent Hill III in the living room down stairs, so I joined him and we ended up going to bed at 4 am.

It was really the perfect weekend, but, today I had an exam at 14 - at least that's what I for some reason remembered, so I woke up at 10 and was brushing my teeth when my phone rings. It was Sho asking me why the heck I'm not at the exam already.

What exam? My exam was at 14 ( that's 2 PM by the way)

Well, apparently it was at 10 am instead, and it was already 5 past 10, so grabbed the first clothes I found and ran out the door only to notice that....it had snowed. So I couldn't take my car, and since the street I live on is at an angle, I also slipped as I was hurrying to catch the train instead.

Which I also missed. By 1 minute - exactly the time it took me to get up from the spectacular fall.

I am never late, I'm always early, why for an exam of all possible things? So 40 minutes late I knocked, entered, bowed, excused myself and luckily, the teacher recognized me and let me in. And there was Sho first row grinning at me in a way that made me want to smack him.

But all in all the exam was fairly easy, and as I was heading out we received mail with our first exam results too - got my first 100 for this semester.

And probably the last as well w.

So that's my hectic life for now, in between Tokyo and Kyoto.

The fact that it will be over in a little over one month and I'll be able to relax and stop this cross country ( I'm exaggerating) weekly trips is still hard to grasp even though Kage won't stop talking about it.

Kaji is excited about going back to Tokyo too, but there's the fact that we'll leave my uncle alone again that worries me. I wish he moved to Tokyo too, maybe it's not entirely impossible, so I'll keep bugging him about it, he can definitely afford a house there.

Well cheers to that not so far future w